Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Commercial Letters

5.1            Introduction

A business letter differs from other kinds of writing activities in several ways. First, it is usually addressed to only one specific person. Therefore, it is important for the writer to think about the reader with a you-viewpoint or a you-attitude. Second, every business letter can become a legal document or contract, so it is critical to maintain an appropriate service attitude. It is also important to have a good strategy or heuristic. There are three basic types of strategies for business letters: the good news or neutral letter, the bad news or problem-solving letter, and the sales letter. The heuristics in each of these three types can be very important to the outcome or success. For each type of letter, there are some characteristic strategies, which will


allow the writer to achieve the best results with specific cases. Look at the format for letters in the examples provided in the text content, particularly the use of block form and semi-block form. Let us elaborate the brief outline of the different parts of the formal letter in terms of: the letterhead block with address and date; the inside address block, presented as on the envelope; the salutation, with the various problems of gender and identity address; the body (block form, no indentation, single-space within / double-space between paragraphs) usually in three paragraphs on a single page; the signature block, with legible signature and the addendum (p.s., enc., cc:).

5.2            Do’s and Don’t of Commercial Letter


Individual words are our basic units of commercial letter writing, the bricks with which we build meaningful messages. All writers have access to the same words. The care with which we select and combine words can make the difference between a message that achieves its objective and one that does not. Discussed below are five principles of words choice to help you write more effectively.


5.2.1 Write Clearly

The basic guideline for writing, the one that must be present for the other principles to have meaning, is to write clearly – to write message in such a way that the reader can understand, depend on, and act on. You can achieve clarity by making your message accurate and complete, by using familiar words, and by avoiding dangling expression and unnecessary jargon.

Be Accurate: A writer’s credibility is perhaps his or her most important asset, and credibility depends greatly on the accuracy of the message. If by carelessness, lack of preparation, or a desire to manipulate, a writer




2


misleads the reader, the damage is immediate as well as long lasting. A reader who has been fooled once may not trust the writer again.

Accuracy can take many forms. The most basic is the truthful presentation of facts and figures. But accuracy involves much more. For example, consider the following sentence from a memo to a firm’s financial backers; The executive committee of Mitchell Financial Services met on Thursday, May 28, to determine how to resolve the distribution fiasco.

Suppose, on checking, the reader learns that May 28 fell on a Wednesday this year – not on a Thursday. Immediately, the reader may suspect everything else in the message. The reader’s thinking might be, “If the writer made this error that I did catch, how many errors that I didn’t catch are lurking there?”

Now consider some other subtle shades of truth. The sentence implies that the committee met, perhaps in an emergency session, for the sole purpose of resolving the distribution fiasco. But suppose this matter was only one of five agenda items being discussed at a regularly scheduled meeting. It the statement still accurate? Suppose the actual agenda listed the topic as “Discussion of Recent Distribution Problems.” Is fiasco the same as problems?


The accuracy of a message, then, depends on what is said, how it is said, and what is left unsaid (see, for example, the following section on the importance of completeness). Competent writers assess the ethical dimensions of their writing and use integrity, fairness, and good judgment to make sure their communication is ethical.








3


Be Complete: Closely related to accuracy is completeness. A message that lacks important information may create inaccurate impressions. A message is complete when it contains all the information the reader needs – no more and no less – to react appropriately.

As a start, answer the five Ws: Tell the reader who, what, when, where and why. Leaving out any of this information may result either in decision based on incomplete information or in extra follow-up correspondence to gather the needed information.

Use Familiar Words: Your message must be understood before someone can act on it. So you must use words that are both familiar to you (so that you will not misuse the word) and familiar to your readers.

Avoid Dangling Expressions: A dangling expression is any part of a sentence that does not logically fit in with the rest of the sentence. Its relationship with the other parts of the sentence is unclear; it dangles. The two most common types of dangling expressions are misplaced modifies and unclear antecedents.

To correct dangling expressions, (1) make the subject of the sentence the doer of the action expressed in the introductory clause; (2) move the expression closer to the word that it modifies;

Don’t: After reading the proposal, a few problems occurred to me. (As written, the sentence implies that “a few problems” read the proposal).

Do :     After reading the proposal, I noted a few problems.

Don’t: Dr. Ellis gave a presentation on the use of drugs in our auditorium. (Are drugs being used in the auditorium).



4


Do: Dr. Ellis gave a presentation in our auditorium on the use of drugs. Don’t:Robin explained the proposal to Joy, but she was not happy with it.

(Who was not happy – Robin or Joy).

Do:       Robin explained the proposal to Joy, but Joy was not happy with it.


Avoid Unnecessary Jargon: Jargon is technical vocabulary used within a special group. Every field has its own specialized words, and jargon offers a precise and efficient way of communicating with people in the same field. Nevertheless, problems arise when jargon is used to communicate with someone who does not understand it. For example, to a banker the term CD means a “certificate of deposit,” but to a stereo buff or computer user it means a “compact disc.” Even familiar words can be confusing when given a specialized meaning.


Does the field business communication have jargon? It does – just look at the Key Terms list at the end of each chapter. The work jargon itself might be considered communication jargon. In this text, such terms are first defined and then used to make communication precise and efficient. Competent writers use specialized vocabulary to communicate with specialists who understand it. And they avoid using it when their readers are not specialists.


5.2.2         Prefer Short, Simple Words

Short and simple words are more likely to be understood, less likely to be misused, and less likely to distract the reader. Literary authors often write to impress; they select words to achieve a specific reader reaction, such as amusement, excitement, or anger. Business writers, on the other hand, write to express; they want to achieve comprehension. They want their






5


readers to focus on their information, not on how they convey their information. Using short, simple words helps achieve this goal.
Don’t:To recapitulate, our utilization of adulterated water precipitated the interminable delays.

Do:       In short, our use of impure water caused the endless delays.



It is true, of course, that quite often short, simple words may not be available to convey the precise shade of meaning you want. For example, there is not one-syllable replacement for ethnocentrism (the belief that one’s own cultural group is superior). Our guideline is not to use only short and simple words but to prefer short and simple words. (As Mark Twain, who was paid by the word for his writing, noted, “I never write metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policemen because I can get the same money for cop”).
Here are some examples of needlessly long words, gleaned from various business documents, with their preferred shorter substitutes shown in parentheses:

Ascertain (learn)                        Endeavor (try)

Enumerate (list)                          Fluctuate (vary)

Indispensable (vital)               Initiate (start)

Modification (change)           Recapitulate (review)

Substantial (large)                    Termination (end)

Utilization (use)                         However (but)


You need not strike these long words totally from your written or spoken vocabulary; any one of these words, used in a clear sentence, would be acceptable. The problem is that a writer may tend to fill his or her writing with very long words when simpler ones could be used. Use long words in moderation. Heed the following advice from author Richard Lederer:



6




When you speak and write, no law says you have to use big words. Short words are as good as long ones, and short, old words like sun and grass and home are best of all. A lot of small words, more than you might think, can meet your needs with a strength, grace, and charm that large words lack.

Big words can make the way dark for those who hear what you say and read what you write. They add fat to your prose. Small words are the ones we seem to have known from birth. They are like the hearth fire that warms the home, and they cast a clear light on big things: night and day, love and hate, war and peace, life and death.

Short words are bright, like sparks that glow in the night; sharp, like the blade of a knife; hot, like salt tears that scald the cheek; quick, like moths that flit from flame to flame; and terse, like the dart and sting of a bee.

If a long word says just what you want, do not fear to use it. But know that our tongue is rich in crisp, brisk, swift, short words. Make them the spine and the heart of what you speak and write. Like fast friends, they will not let you down.

Leader practices what he preaches. All 223 words in these four paragraphs are one-syllable words! Similarly, 71% of the words in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address (190 out of 267) are only one syllable long.

You have probably heard the advice “Write as you speak.” Although not universally true, such advice is pretty close to the mark. Of course, if your conversation were peppered with redundancies, jargon, and clichés, you would not want to put such weaknesses on paper. But typical conversation

7


uses mostly short, simple words – the kind you do want to put on paper. Don’t assume that the bigger the words, the bigger the intellect. In fact, you need a large vocabulary and a well developed word sense to select the best word. And more often than not, that word is short and simple. Write to express – not to impress.

5.2.3       WRITE WITH VIGOR

Vigorous language is specific and concrete. Limp language is filled with clichés, slang, and buzz words. Vigorous writing holds your reader’s interest. But if your reader isn’t even interested enough to read your message, your writing can’t possibly achieve its objective. A second reason for writing with vigor has to do with language itself. Vigorous writing tends to lend vigor to the ideas presented. A good idea looks even better dressed in vigorous language, and a weak idea looks even weaker dressed in limp language.

Use Specific, Concrete Language: As discussed in the lesson of communication barriers caused by over abstraction and ambiguity, when possible, choose specific words – words that have a definite, unambiguous meaning. Likewise, choose concrete words – words that bring a definite picture to your reader’s mind.

Don’t:The vehicle broke down several times recently. Do: The delivery van broke down three times last week.

In the first version, what does the reader imagine when he or she reads the word vehicle – a golf cart? Automobile? Boat? Space shuttle? Likewise, how many times is several –two? Three? Fifteen? The revised version tells precisely what happened.








8


Sometimes we do not need such specific information. For example, in “The president answered several questions from the audience and then adjourned the meeting”, the specific number of questions is probably not important. But in most situations, you should watch out for words like several, recently, a number of, substantial, a few, and a lot of. You may need to be more exact.


Likewise, use the most concrete word that is appropriate; give the reader a specific mental picture of what you mean. That is, learn to talk in pictures: Don’t:The vice president was bored by the presentation.

Do:       The vice president kept yawning and looking at her watch.



But sure that your terms convey as much meaning as the reader needs to react appropriately. Watch out for terms like emotional meeting (anger or gratitude?), bright color (red or yellow?), new equipment (postage meter or cash register?), and change in price (increase or decrease?).

Avoid Cliches, Slang, and Buzz Words: A cliché is an expression that has become monotonous through overuse. It lacks freshness and originality and may also send the unintended message that the writer couldn’t be bothered to choose language geared specifically to the reader.
Don’t:Enclosed please find an application form that you should return at your earliest convenience.

Do:       Please return the enclosed application form before May 15.



As noted earlier, slang is an expression, often short-lived, that is identified with a specific group of people. If you understand each word in an expression but still don’t understand what it means in context, chances are





9


you’re having trouble with a slang expression. For example, read the following sentence:

It turns my stomach the way you can break your neck and beat your brains out around here, and they still stab you in the back.

To anyone unfamiliar with American slang (a nonnative speaker, perhaps), this sentence might seem to be about the body because it refers to the stomach, neck, brains, and back. The real meaning, of course, is something like this:

I am really upset that this company ignores hard work and loyalty when making personnel decisions.

Same Rules the World Over: The strategies for writing effective business messages discussed in this chapter are universal. The passage below, from a business communication text for Chinese business executives, recommends substituting concise phrases for long, empty ones.

Wordy

Concise
Wordy


Concise






enclosed herewith

enclosed
under
separate
separately



cover









enclosed   you
will
enclosed is
a  long
period  of
a long time
find


time








please don’t hesitate
please write us
continuous
and
continuous



uninterrupted









to call upon us


during
the
year
during 1971



1971









please  feel  free
to
please write
endorse on the

endorse this
write











prior to

before
back of this check
check
















10



paradigm parameter scenario user-friendly
Avoid slang in most business writing, for several reasons. First, it is informal, and much of business writing, although not formal, is still businesslike and calls for standard word usage. Second, slang is short-lived. A slang phrase used today may not be in use – and thus may not be familiar – in three years, when your letter is retrieved from the files for reference. Third, slang is identified with a specific group of people, and others in the general population may not understand the intended meaning. For these reasons, avoid these terms in most business writing:
can of worms                                                pay through the nose

chew out                                                          play up to

go for broke                                                   security blanket

hate one’s guts                                            use your noodle

knock it off                                                    wiped out

once-over                                                        zonked out


A buzz word is an important-sounding expression used mainly to impress other people. Because buzz words are so often used by government officials and high ranking business people – people whose comments are “newsworthy” – these expressions get much media attention. They become instant clichés and then go out of fashion just as quickly. At either end of their short life span, they cause communication problems. If an expression is currently being used by everyone, it sounds monotonous, lacking originality. If it is no longer being used by anyone, readers may not understand the intended meaning. Here are examples of recent “in” expressions:

bottom line done deal impact (verb) interface



11


no-brainer                                                       vision statement


Be especially careful of turning nouns and other types of words into verbs by adding-ize. Such words as agendize, prioritize, unionize, and operationalize quickly become tiresome.

5.2.4         Write Concisely

Businesspeople are busy people. The information revolution has created more paperwork, giving businesspeople access to more data. Having more data to analyze (but presumably not being able to read any faster or having more time in which to do so), managers want information presented in the fewest possible words. To achieve conciseness, make every word count. Avoid redundancy, wordy expressions, hidden verbs and nouns, and other “space-eaters”.


Avoid Redundancy: Redundancy is unnecessary repetition of an idea that has already been expressed or intimated. Eliminating the repetition contributes to conciseness.

Don’t: Signing both copies of the lease is a necessary requirement. Do: Signing both copies of the lease is necessary. Don’t:Combine the ingredients together.

Do:       Combine the ingredients.



A requirement is by definition necessary, so only one of the words is needed. And to combine means to bring together, so using both words is redundant. Don’t confuse redundancy and repetition. Repetition – using the same word more than once – is occasionally effective for emphasis (as we will discuss in the next Chapter). Redundancy, however, serves no purpose and should always be avoided.



12






Some redundancies are humorous, as in the classic Samuel Goldwyn comment, “Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined,” or the sign in a jewelry store window, “Ears pierced while you wait”, or the statement in an automobile advertisement, “Open seven days a week plus weekends”. Most redundancies, however, are simply verbiage – and hence must be avoided.


Do not use the unnecessary word together after such words as assemble, combine, cooperate, gather, join, merge, or mix. Do not use the unnecessary word new before such words as beginner, discovery, fad, innovation, or progress. And do not use the unnecessary word up after such words as connect, divide, eat, lift, mix, and rest. Also avoid the following common redundancies (use the words in parentheses instead):

advance planning (planning)                                                            over again (over)

any and all (any or all)                                                                       past history (history)

basic fundamentals (basics or fundamentals)                              repeat again (repeat)

but nevertheless (but or nevertheless)                                             sum total (sum or total)

each and every (each or every)                                                        true facts (facts)

free gift (gift)                                                                                        when and if (when or if)


Avoid Wordy Expressions: Although wordy expressions are not necessarily writing errors (as redundancies are), they do slow the pace of the communication and should be avoided. For example, try substituting one word for a phrase whenever possible.
Don’t: In view of the fact that the model failed twice during the time that we tested it, we are at this point of time searching for other options.

Do:       Because the model failed twice when we tested it, we are now searching for other options.


13




The original sentence contains 28 words; the revised sentence, 16 You’ve “saved” 12 words. In his delightful book Revising Business Prose, Richard Lanham speaks of the “lard factor”: the percentage of words saved by “getting rid of the lard” in a sentence. In this case,
28 – 16 = 12; 12 ÷ 28 = 43%

Thus, 43% of the original sentence was “land”, which fattened the sentence without providing any “nutrition”. Lanham suggests, “Think of a lard factor (LF) of 1/3 to ½ as normal and don’t stop revising until you’ve removed it. ”
Here are examples of other wordy phrases and their preferred one-word

substitutes in parentheses:

are of the opinion that (believe)     in the event that (if)

due to the fact that (because)           pertaining to (about)

for the purpose of (for or to)             with regard to (about)

in order to (to)


Avoid Hidden Verbs: A hidden verb is a verb that has been changed into a noun form, weakening the action. Verbs are action words and should convey the main action in the sentence. They provide interest and forward movement. Consider this example:
Don’t:Carl made an announcement that he will give consideration to our request.

Do:       Carl announced that he will consider our request.



What is the real action? It is not that Carl made something or that he will give something. The real action is hiding in the nouns: Carl announced and will consider. These two verb forms, then, should be the main verbs in the sentence. Notice that the revised sentence is much more direct – and four

14


words shorter (LF = 33%). Here are some other actions that should be conveyed by verbs instead of being hidden in nouns:



arrived at the conclusion (concluded) came to an agreement (agreed)
gave a demonstration of (demonstrated) gave an explanation (explained)


has a requirement for (requires) held a meeting (met)
made a payment (paid) Performed an analysis of (analyzed)



Avoid Hidden Subjects: Like verbs, subjects play a prominent role in a sentence and should stand out, rather then being obscured by an expletive beginning. An expletive is an expression such as there is or it is that begins a clause or sentence and for which pronoun has no antecedent. Because the topic of a sentence that begins with an expletive is not immediately clear, you should use such sentences sparingly in business writing. Avoiding expletives also contributes to conciseness.

Don’t: There was no indication that it is necessary to include John in the meeting.

Do:       No one indicated that John should be included in the meeting.


Imply or Condense: Sometimes you do not need to explicitly state certain information; you can imply it instead. In other situations, you can use adjectives and adverbs instead of clauses to convey the needed information in a more concise format.
Don’t:We have received your recent letter and are happy to provide the date you requested.

Do: We are happy to provide the data you recently requested. Don’t:This brochure, which is available free of charge, will answer your

questions.

Do:       This free brochure will answer your questions.







15


5.2.5         Prefer Positive Language

Words that create a positive image are more likely to help you achieve your objective than are negative words. For example, you are more likely to persuade someone to do as you ask if you stress the advantages of doing so rather than the disadvantages of not doing so. Positive language also builds goodwill for you and your organization and often gives more information than negative language. Note the differences in tone and amount of information given in the following pairs of sentences:

Don’t: The briefcase is not made of cheap imitation leather.

Do:       The briefcase is made of 100% belt leather for years of durable service.

Don’t: We cannot ship your merchandise until we receive your check. Do: As soon as we receive your check, we will ship your merchandise. Don’t:I do not yet have any work experience.

Do:       My two terms as secretary of the Management Club taught me the importance of accurate record keeping and gave me experience in working as part of a team.
Expressions like cannot and will not are not the only ones that convey negative messages. Other words, like mistake, damage, failure, refuse, and deny, also carry negative connotations and should be avoided when possible.

Don’t: Failure to follow the directions may cause the blender to malfunction.

Do:       Following the directions will ensure many years of carefree service from your blender.

Don’t: We apologize for this error.

Do: We appreciate your calling this matter to our attention. Don’t: We close at 7 p.m. on Fridays.



16


Do:       We’re open until 7 p.m. on Fridays to give you time to shop after work.

Sometimes you can avoid negative language by switching to the subjunctive mood, which uses words like wish, if, and would to refer to conditions that are impossible or improbable. Such language, softens the impact of the negative message, making it more palatable to the reader. Here are two examples:

Don’t: I cannot speak at your November meeting.

Do: I wish it were possible for me to speak at your November meeting. Don’t: I cannot release the names of our clients.

Do:       Releasing the names of our clients would violate their right to privacy.

In short, stress what is true and what can be done rather than what is not true and what cannot be done. This is not to say that negative language has no place in business writing. Negative language is strong and emphatic, and sometimes you will want to use it. However, unless the situation clearly calls for negative language, you are more likely to achieve your objective and to build goodwill for yourself and your organization by stressing the positive.

Because words are the building blocks for your message, choose them with care. Using short simple words, writing with clarity, vigor, and conciseness; and using positive language will help you construct effective sentences and paragraphs. If you are one of the many students learning business communication for whom English is a second language, see Spotlight 13, “So You’re and ESTL Speaker,” on page 138.

Writing Effective Sentences :A sentence has a subject and predicate and express at least one complete thought. Beyond these attributes, however, sentences vary widely in style, length, and effect. They are also very



17


flexible; writers can move sentence parts around, add and delete information, and substitute words to express different ideas and emphasize different points. To build effective sentences, use a variety of sentence types, and use active and passive voice appropriately.

5.2.6         Use A Variety of Sentence Types

There are four basic sentence types – simple, compounds, complex and compound-complex – all of which are appropriate for business writing. Simple Sentence: It contains one independent clause (a clause that can stand alone as a complete though). Because it presents a single idea and is usually (but not always) short, a simple sentence is often used for emphasis. Although a simple sentence contains only one independent clause, it may have a compound subject or compound verb (or both). All of the following sentences are simple.

I quit.

Individual Retirement Accounts are a safe option.

Both individual Retirement Accounts and Simplified Employee Pension Plans are safe and convenient options as retirement investments for the entrepreneur.

Complex Sentence: It contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. (If the two ideas are not closely related, they should be presented tin two separate sentences). Here are three compound sentences: Stacey listened, but I nodded.

Morris Technologies made a major acquisition last year, and it turned out to be a disaster.

Westmoreland Mines moved its headquarters to Prescott in 1984; however, it stayed there only five years and then moved back to Globe.

Complex Sentence: It contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. For example, in the first sentence below, “Two scanner will save valuable input time” is an independent clause because it makes



18


sense by itself. “Although it cost $235” is a dependent clause because it does not make sense by itself.

Although it cost $235, the scanner will save valuable input time. George Bosley, why is the new CEO at Hubbell, made the decision. I will be moving to Austin when I assume my new position.

The dependent clause provides additional, but subordinate, information related to the independent clause.
Compound-Complex Sentence A compound-complex sentence: This contains tow or more independent clauses and one or more dependent clauses.
I wanted to write the report myself, but I soon realized that I needed the advice of our legal department. (two independent clauses and one dependent clause).

If I can, I’ll do it; if I cannot, I’ll ask Shelia to do it. (two independent clauses and two dependent clauses).

Sentence Variety: Using a variety of sentence patterns and sentence lengths helps keep your writing interesting. Note how simplistic and choppy too many short sentences can be and how boring and difficult too many long sentence can be.

The sentences in these paragraphs should be revised to show relationships between ideas more clearly, to keep readers interested, and to improve readability. Use simple sentences for emphasis and variety, compound sentences for coordinate (equal) relationships, and complex sentences for subordinate relationships.

The first two sentences in the revision are complex, the third sentence is simple, and the last sentence is compound. The lengths of the four sentences range from 12 to 27 words. To write effective sentences, use different sentence patterns and lengths. Most sentences in good business writing range from 16 to 22.



19




5.2.7         Use Active and Passive Voice Appropriately

Voice is the aspect of a very that shows whether the subject of the sentence acts or is acted on. In the active voice, the subject performs the action expressed by the very. In the passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed by the verb.

Active: Inmac offers a full refund on all orders. Passive: A full refund on all orders is offered by Inmac. Active: Shoemacher & Doerr audited the books in 2002.

Passive: The books were audited in 2002 by Shoemacher & Doerr. Passive sentences add some form of the verb to be to the main verb, so passive sentences are always somewhat longer than active sentences. In the first set of sentences just given, for example, compare offers in the active sentence with is offered by in the passive sentence.

In active sentences, the subject is the doer of the action; in passive sentences, the subject is the receiver of the action. And because the subject gets more emphasis than other nouns in a sentence, active sentences emphasize the doer, and passive sentences emphasize the receiver, of the action. In the second set of sentences, either version could be considered correct, depending on whether the writer wanted to emphasize Shoemacher & Doerr or the books.

Use active sentences most of the time in business writing, just as you naturally use active sentences in most of your conversations. Note that verb voice (active or passive) has nothing to do with verb tense, which shows the time of the action. As the following sentences show, the action in both active and passive sentences can occur in the past, present, or future.








20


Don’t: A very logical argument was presented by Hal. (passive voice, past tense).

Do: Hal presented a very logical argument. (Active voice, past tense) Don’t: An 18% increase will be reported by the eastern region. (Passive

voice, future tense0

Do:       The eastern region will report on 18% increase. (Active voice, future tense)

Passive sentences are most appropriate when you want to emphasize the receiver of the action, when the person doing the action is either unknown or unimportant, or when you want to be tactful in conveying negative information. All the following sentences are appropriately stated in the passive voice:

Protective legislation was blamed for the drop in imports. (Emphasizes the receiver of the action).

Transportation to the construction site will be provided. (The doer of the action not important).

Several complaints have been received regarding the new policy. (Tactfully conveys negative news)

Words, sentences, and paragraphs are all building blocks of communication. You have seen how using a variety of sentence types and using active and passive voice appropriately can help make your sentences more effective. Now you are ready to combine these sentences to form logical paragraphs.

Developing Logical Paragraphs: A paragraph is a group of related sentences that focus on one main idea. The main idea is often identified in the first sentence of the paragraph, which is then known as a topic sentence. The body of the paragraph supports this main idea by giving more information, analysis, or examples. A paragraph is typically part of a






21


longer message, although one paragraph can contain the entire message, especially in such informal communications as memorandums and email. Paragraphs organize the topic into manageable units of information for the reader. Readers need a cue to tell them when they have finished a topic, so that they can pause and refocus their attention on the next topic. To serve this purpose, paragraphs must be unified and coherent, be stated in parallel structure, and be of an appropriate length.


5.2.8         Keep Paragraphs Unified and Coherent

Although closely related, unity and coherence are not the same. A paragraph has unity when all its parts work together to develop a single idea consistently and logically. A paragraph has coherence when each sentence links smoothly to the sentences before and after it.

Unity: A unified paragraph gives information that is directly related to the topic, presents this information in a logical order, and –omits irrelevant details. The following excerpt is a middle paragraph in a memorandum arguing against the proposal that Collins, a baby-food manufacturer, should expand into producing good for adults:

Don’t: [1] We cannot focus our attention on both ends of the age spectrum. [2] In a recent survey, two-thirds of the under -35 age group named Collins as the first company that came to mind for the category “baby food products”. [[3] For more than 50 years we have spent millions of dollars annually to identify our company as the baby-food company, and market research shows that we have been successful. [4] Last year, we introduced Peas ‘N Pears, our most successful baby-food introduction ever. [[5]’ To now seek to position ourselves as a producer of food for adults would simply be






22


incongruous. [6] Our well-defined image in the marketplace would make producing food for adults risky.

The paragraph obviously lacks unity. You may decide that the overall topic of the paragraph is Collins’s well-defined image as a baby-food producer. So Sentence 6 would be the best topic sentence. You might also decide that Sentence 4 brings in extra information that weakens paragraph unity and would be left out. The most unified paragraph, then, would be Sentences 6, 3, 2, 5 and 1, as shown here:

Do:       Our well-defined image in the marketplace would make producing food for adults risky. For more than 50 years we have spent millions of dollars annually to identify our company as the baby-food company, and market research shows that we have been successful. In a recent survey, two-thirds of the under 35 age group named Collins as the first company that came to mind for the category “baby-food products” . to now seek to position ourselves as a producer of food for adults would simply be incongruous. We cannot focus our attention on both ends of the age spectrum.

A topic sentence is especially helpful in a long paragraph. It usually appears at the beginning of a paragraph. This position helps the writer focus on the topic, so the paragraph will have unity. And it lets the reader know immediately what the topic is.

Coherence: A coherent paragraph weaves sentences together so that the discussion is integrated. The reader never needs to pause to puzzle out the relationships or reread to get the intended meaning. The major ways to achieve coherence are to use transitional words and pronouns, to repeat key words and ideas, and to use parallel structure.






23


Transitional words help the reader see relationships between sentences. Such words may be as simple as first and other indicators of sequence.

Ten years ago, Collins tried to overcome market resistance to its new line of baby clothes. First, it mounted a multimillion-dollar ad campaign featuring the Mason quintuplets. Next, it sponsored a Collins Baby look-alike contest. Then it sponsored two network specials featuring Dr. Benjamin Spock.
Finally, it brought in the Madison Avenue firm of Morgan & Modine to broaden its image.

The words first, next, then, and finally clearly signal step-by-step movement. Now note the following logical transitions, aided by connecting words:

I recognize, however, that Collins cannot thrive on baby food alone. To begin with, since we already control 73% of the market, further gains will be difficult. What’s more, the current baby boom is slowing. Therefore, we must expand our product line.

Transitional words act as road signs, indicating where the message is headed and letting the reader know what to expect. Here are some commonly used transitional expressions grouped by the relationships they express:

Relationship                                   Transitional Expressions

addition                                                   also, besides, furthermore, in addition, moreover, too

cause and effect                                       as a result, because, consequently, hence, so,

Therefore, thus

comparison                                             in the same way, likewise, similarly

contrast                                                   although, but, however, in contrast, nevertheless,

On the other hand, still, yet.

illustration                                               for example, for instance, in other words, to illustrate

sequence                                                 first, second, third, then, next, finally

summery/conclusion                               at last, finally, in conclusion, to summarize, therefore

time                                                         meanwhile, next, since, soon, then







24


A second way to achieve coherence is to use pronouns. Because pronouns stand for words already named, using pronouns binds sentences and ideas together. The pronouns are underlined here:

If Collins branches out with additional food products, one possibility would be a fruit snack for youngsters. Funny Fruits were tested in Columbus last summer, and they were a big hit. Roger Johnson, national marketing manager, says he hopes to build new food categories into a $200 million business. He is also exploring the possibility of acquiring other established name brands. These acquired brands would let Collins expand faster than if it had to develop a new product of its own.

A third way to achieve coherence is to repeat key words. In a misguided attempt to appear interesting, writers sometimes use different terms for the same idea. For example, in discussing a proposed merger a writer may at different points use merger, combination, union, association, and syndicate. Or a writer may use the words administrator, manager, supervisor, and executive all to refer to the same person. Such “elegant variation” only confuses the reader, who has no way of knowing whether the writer is referring to the same concept or to slightly different variations of the concept. Avoid needless repetition, but use purposeful repetition to link ideas and thus promote paragraph coherence. Here is a good example:

Collins has taken several steps recently to enhance profits and project a stronger leadership position. One of these steps is streamlining operations. Collins’s line of children’s clothes was unprofitable, so it discontinued the line. Its four produce farms were likewise unprofitable, so it hired an outside professional team to manage them. This team eventually recommended selling the farms.

Ensure paragraph unity by developing only one topic per paragraph and by presenting the information in logical order. Ensure paragraph coherence by using transitional words and pronouns and by repeating key words.



25




5.2.9         Use Parallel Structure

The term parallelism means using similar grammatical structure for similar ideas – that is, matching adjectives with adjectives, nouns with nouns, infinities with infinities, and so on. Much widely quoted writing uses parallelism: for example, Julius Caesar’s “I came, I saw, I conquered” and Abraham Lincoln’s “government of the people, by the people, and for the people”. Parallel structure smoothly links ideas and adds a pleasing rhythm to sentences and paragraphs, thereby enhancing coherence.


Don’t: The new dispatcher is competent and a fast worker. Do : The dispatcher is competent and fast.

Don’t: The new grade of paper is lightweight, nonporous, and it is inexpensive.

Do: The new grade of paper is lightweight, nonporous, and inexpensive. Don’t:The training program will cover.

1.      Vacation and sick leaves

2.      How to resolve grievances

3.      Managing your workstation


Do:       The training program will cover

1.      Vacation and sick leaves

2.      Grievance resolution

3.      Workstation management


Don’t: One management consultant recommended either selling the children’s furniture division or its conversion into a children’s toy division.



26


Do:       One management consultant recommended either selling the children’s furniture division or conversion it into a children’s toy division.

Don’t: Gladys is not only proficient in word processing but also in desktop publishing.

Do:       Gladys is proficient not only in word processing but also in desktop publishing.

In the last two sets of sentences above, note that correlative conjunctions (such as both/and, either/or, and not only/but also) must be followed by words in parallel form. Be especially careful to use parallel structure in report headings that have equal weight and in numbered lists.

5.2.10 Control Paragraph Length

How long should a paragraph of business writing be? As with other considerations, the needs of the reader, rather than the convenience of the writer, should determine the answer. Paragraphs should help the reader by signaling a new idea as well as by providing a physical break. Long blocks of unbroken text look boring and needlessly complex. And they may unintentionally obscure an important idea buried in the middle. On the other hand, a series of extremely short paragraphs can weaken coherence by obscuring underlying relationships.
Essentially, there are no fixed rules for paragraph length, and occasionally one or ten-sentence paragraphs might be effective. However, most paragraphs of good business writers fall into the 60 to 80 word range – long enough for a topic sentence and three or four supporting sentences. Although a single paragraph should never discuss more than one major topic, complex topics may need to be divided into several paragraphs.






27


Your purpose and the needs of your reader should ultimately determine paragraph length.


5.3            Summary


Communication is a complex two-way process, involving the encoding, translation and decoding of messages. Effective communication through commercial letter requires the communicator to translate their messages in a way that is specifically designed for their intended audience. Creating and drafting an effective commercial letter requires a basic understanding of the communication process. Most commercial letters require the clear and unambiguous communication of a message in a way that can be clearly understood by the recipient. It is human nature to assume that when we communicate we are doing so effectively, and that if anything goes wrong consequently the responsibility for that must rest with the recipient.

In a commercial letter, the writer of the letter should understand very clearly the following steps:
Step 1:                 Organize your writing.

Step 2: Know what is and is not appropriate Step 3: Write an informative beginning
Step 4: Write an revealing exchange of information Step 5: Avoid clumsy phrases and complex vocabulary
Step 6: Apply the skills to good news and bad news messages Step 7: Use short, clear sentences and simple punctuation Step 8: Write a clear, meaningful subject line
Step 9: Convey your message in as few words as possible Step 10: Use headings, generalizations, and paragraphs Step 11: Write a cordial, informative conclusion
Step 12:              Edit and proofread your writing.

Your intention and the needs of someone who reads your letter should at the end of the day make a decision as to what a letter need to carry.











28



5.4             Key Words

     Parallelism : The term parallelism means using similar grammatical structure for similar ideas – that is, matching adjectives with adjectives, nouns with nouns, infinities with infinities, and so on.

     Coherence: A coherent paragraph weaves sentences together so that the discussion is integrated.

     Unity: A unified paragraph gives information that is directly related to the topic, presents this information in a logical order, and –omits irrelevant details.

     Complex Sentence: It contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause.

     Complex Sentence: It contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause.


5.5            Self-Assessment Questions



1.                  Define the concept ‘commercial letter’. Discuss the essentials of a commercial letter. Also give a specimen of such letter.

2.                  "The single most significant characteristic of the commercial letter is that it must have a human face." Discuss.
3.                  "Communication is the sum of all things one person does when he wants to create understanding in the mind of another. It is a bridge of meaning. It involves a systematic and continuous process of telling, listening and understanding." Is it true in case of commercial letter? Argue your viewpoint with suitable examples.







29



5.6            Suggested Readings



1.      Pal, Rajendra and Korlahalli, J. S., Essentials of Business Communication.
2.      Kaul, Asha, Effective Business Communication.

3.      Lesikar, R. V. and Pettite J. D., Business Communication.

4.      Sharma, R. C. , Business Communication and Report Writing.

5.      Shinha, P., Business Communication.